Goodbyes suck. Bad.

Today I'm a bit sad.

Aside from a break in, which I'll eventually, I expect, blog about - I'm also pretty cut up about a friend of mine. Or someone who was a friend of mine until recently. I'd like to say that we're just taking a hiatus, waiting until things cool over and it's all about some petty disagreement. But it's not and out of respect for them, I won't put the details in this blog, but I will say that I think it's more of a permanant thing. I don't think I could ever go back to the way things go, especially when it was so easy (this is how it seems to me, mind you, I could be wrong, I'd like to think I am), for her to just push me out of her life.

At the end of the day, I want her to be happy. So I'll step aside, minus the explanation I think I have every right to receive, and let her get on with it. I started off hoping that at some point, in the future, there'd be a chance for us to reconnect, but...the more I think about, this is someone who I let into not only my life, but also that of my family. And that didn't seem to count either (again, this only how it feels from my side, I don't know what's going on in their head) - so the more I think on it, the less likely I feel like I could ever go back. I've been blamed for countless people's stupid mistakes...but I won't be blamed for this one. And if that means letting things go, then that's how it'll be. I'd sooner be doing that than labouring, as I have been for atleast a month or two now, under the misunderstanding that things are ok. Because they're not, they weren't, but no-one thought to let me know about it, until it was too late.

I haven't even been given a chance, which kind of irks me a bit. But, as always, when matters of the heart are involved, it comes to a point where nothing else seems to matter. Which is great and finds in with a lot of people's views of love. To me? That kind of love is just destructive. I'm blessed and have been blessed previously, with friends, family and lovers that haven't let me get that far. And I'm greatful for that every day. I wish, more than anything I could be the support that I want to be to this friend - but I can't. So it ends here.